When I got my first Harley Brad and I would ride together and I have to say, it was good times. Lots of shits and giggles to be had by all. Well went through a bunch of shit together. He would come by my house in the middle of the night and I would get up get on my bike and we would head out for a ride. There was this one incidence at his house that involved lots of cops and drug sniffing dogs and automatic weapons pointed at us. Ahhhhhh good times.

I had a battery malfunction on my 1981 Wide Glide and got acid all over the rear of the frame and rear fender. Well at that time I was unemployed so at his house I tore the bike down to redo it, repaint the frame and fenders and tank. Well shortly after that life happened and I ended up working 2 jobs and never ever got back to that 81 wide glide. Fast forward to December of 2002 and I decided that I just could take it anymore, with very little free time on my hands and not having the place or the will to really fool with putting the 81 wide glide back together I went and bought a 2002 Springer softail. I love that bike. A couple of days after picking it up I went to Brads to show it to him and as luck would have it he was just getting ready to head out on his bike to get some lunch so I went along. Now Brad’s bike this time was a fat boy of which year I do not remember but it had the LOUDEST fucking motor I had ever heard on a street bike ever. He was running a 120 inch Merch motor. We headed out up LA 1 to a local choke and puke place and as I was riding on the side of him, I felt something I hadn’t felt in years. A sense of belonging. Like this is right where I belong, riding down the highway at 80 mph along side this guy. I once again felt part of a brotherhood. I don’t think I ever told Brad that. That was an important feeling to me. We had a good lunch together and chatted a bit and both of us headed home. It was awhile again before I would see Brad again and this time it would be in the hospital.

He was coming home on a Good Friday night and lost his bike in a curve on interstate 10 through Baton Rouge. He went down on his left side landing on his left elbow basically grinding it off. The doctors tried for many weeks to save his arm but they ended up taking it off just above the elbow. From as near as what he can figure out, his rear tire was flat or going flat when he went into the curve, he felt a bobble on the front end and tried to correct it when the back end became all squirrelly on him and he went down. He had always been a fighter and still is. He no longer rides even though he still has the bike he wrecked just as it was when the wrecker picked it up. It still has that bad assed 120 inch Merch motor in the frame. Looking at the bike from one side you wouldn’t realize it was wrecked at all and on the left side that went down, it doesn’t have much damage there. I asked him if he thought he would ever ride again and he said he didn’t think so. He felt he didn’t have that many limbs left and wanted to keep the ones he has. He now has a really nice motor home and takes it out when he feels up to it. He told me that his motorcycle was his ticket to adventure, now his motor home is. I have sat with him and talked with him and I think he is doing really well. He handles it  better than I would be if it was me and I respect him greatly for it. Brad was never one to let difficulties get him down; he picked up and moved on. He still is one of the smartest guys I know and one of my best friends. I ride when I can (not as often as I like) and he is always on the side of me in spirit. It is because of Brad my opinion of my motorcycle and what I want it to be is. He says that perhaps one day he will repair his bike and put it on display in his living room like a piece of art. Does he miss riding? I haven’t asked him but I think that he probably does and knowing Brad, If he feels that one day he would be comfortable riding again, I’m sure nothing would stop him from swing his leg over the seat and heading down the highway again, but if he doesn’t well, he had a lot of great memories.

I want to tip my hat and raise my beer mug and salute Brad for being a friend and a brother, here’s to you old friend, Live Free, Ride Hard.

I visited an old friend in the hospital the other day. His body savaged by the ravages of time and disease he was in a rather cheerful mood. We chatted about our past and things we had done as young men. Fun times we had and trouble we had gotten in together. We both smiled. I finally asked him how he was feeling and he smiled and said as good as could be expected. I nodded and asked if he had any regrets. He said he had many. He said he regretted that he never got to travel to all the places he wanted to go and that he regretted that he never got to do all the things he wanted. He wondered if his life had been a waste. He regretted that he never told the one woman he truly loved how much he loved her for he feared that she would have rejected and ridiculed him. He watched her marry another and with a broken heart he never loved again.

He wondered to me if he had lived his life the right way. He wasn’t a rich man he felt but he had done ok. His bills had always been paid on time and he didn’t owe anyone anything. He had worked an ok job, not exciting but ok. It had provided a roof over his head and it had put food on his table. It enabled him to have a nice vehicle in which to get around in and do the things in life he thought he should. Still, he wondered if he should have done more, if he had missed out on something.

He told me that the woman he had loved so much those many years ago came to see him. She had heard that he was ill and wasn’t long for this existence much longer and she wanted to come and say goodbye. She told him that she too loved him greatly those many years ago and that she too was too shy to say anything to him. She said that even though she married another and had moved away that he was always in her thoughts everyday. I could tell that this had made him a little sad but also it made him smile because he now knew that she did in fact love him.

I asked him if there were anything he would have changed about his life. He said that there was probably very little he would have changed other than telling his one true love how much he had cared for her and that perhaps he would have traveled to all those places he wanted to see.

He grasped my hand and gave it a squeeze and he thanked me for being such a good friend. I looked at him puzzled and I was rather surprised at this. I had never considered myself a good friend. While we had hung out together as younger men and had many misadventures together we had lost touch as of late and hadn’t see much of each other. Life got in the way. When he saw my puzzlement he smiled and said “you always listened to me”, “no matter how stupid of a thought it was or how redundant the story, you always listened to me”. I smile and nodded, a tear running down my cheek. I knew that once I had left here I would never see my friend again. He said “thank you for all those years of enjoyment and excitement and wonderment you brought to my life”. “We had many a great adventure and misadventures together didn’t we?” I laughed and said “yes we did”.

I could see him growing weary and I told him that I guess that I had best be leaving. He nodded saying he was tired and would like to rest. I excused myself and I went into the bathroom to “wash” my face and to gather myself. I looked into the mirror at myself and I saw not only myself but my friend as well. I saw both of us as young men, full of life and amazement at the world around us. I now saw me for who I had become, a bitter and spiteful old man. I wondered if I would have as much dignity as my friend when it became my time to pass on or would I be bitter and resentful.

I walked out of the bathroom and my friend was sleeping. I leaned over and squeezed his hand and kissed him on the forehead. I whispered into his ear “thank YOU for being my friend, I will miss you with all my heart”. With that I left.

Later that night I received a call from the nurse that cared for him and she said that he had passed. She said after I had left he had a smile on his face the rest of the evening and that he passed with that smile on his face.

As I sit here at his funeral, I see that he did indeed live a rich full life. There are more beautiful flowers from co-workers, business associates and friend, my god, all the friends. The room is full of people I do not know, all talking about what a special person he was and how much he will be truly missed. My friend lived a rich full life and never realized it. He touched many people and never knew. As they lay him to his final resting place, I place a single red rose on his casket and put my hand on it as if to say goodbye one last time. I walk away, the bitter cold stinging at me as I pull the collar up over my coat. A tear runs down my cheek. I think to myself, Goodbye my old friend, god speed to you.

I recently asked my friend's little girl what she wanted to be when she grows up. She said she wanted to be President some day. Both of her parents, liberal Democrats, were standing there, so I asked her, 'If you were President what would be the first thing you would do?'
She replied, 'I'd give food and houses to all the homeless people.'
Her parents beamed.
'Wow...what a worthy goal.' I told her, 'But you don't have to wait until you're President to do that. You can come over to my house and mow the lawn, pull weeds, and sweep my yard, and I'll pay you $50. Then I'll take you over to the grocery store where the homeless guy hangs out, and you can give him the $50 to use toward food and a new house.' 

She thought that over for a few seconds, then she looked me straight in the eye and asked, 'Why doesn't the homeless guy come over and do the work, and you can just pay him the $50?' 

I said, 'Welcome to the Republican Party.'
Her parents still aren't speaking to me.

I recently picked a new primary care doctor.  After two visits and exhaustive Lab tests, he said I was doing 'fairly well' .  
A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking him, 'Do you think I'll live to be 90?'
He asked, 'Do you smoke tobacco, or drink beer or wine?'
'Oh no,' I replied.  'I'm not doing drugs, either!'

Then he asked, 'Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?
'I said, 'Not much... my former doctor said that all red meat is very unhealthy!'
'Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, sailing, hiking, or bicycling?'
'No, I don't,' I said.
He asked, 'Do you, Party with friends, drive fast cars, travel alot,or have a lot of sex?'

'No,' I said.
He looked at me and said,...  'Then, why do you even give a shit?

Who is Ed Freeman you say? Well, read and find out.

Missing from the news....

You're a 19 year old kid, critically wounded, and dying in the jungle in the Ia Drang Valley, November the 14th, 1965, LZ Xray, Vietnam.

Your infantry unit is outnumbered eight to one, and the enemy fire is so intense, from 100 or 200 yards away, that your own infantry commander has ordered the medi-vac helicopters to stop coming in.

You're lying there, listening to the enemy machine guns and you know you're not getting out.

Your family is half way around the world, 12,000 miles away, and you'll never see them again.

As the world starts to fade in and out, you know this is 'the' day.

Then, over the machine gun noise, you faintly hear that sound of a helicopter, and you look up to see an un-armed EH-1 Huey.  It doesn't seem real, because there are no medi-vac markings on it.

Ed Freeman is coming for you.

He's not medi-vac, so it's not his job, but he's flying his Huey down into the machine gun fire, after the medi-vacs were told not to come.

He's coming anyway.

Ed drops in and sits there in the machine gun fire as they load 2 or 3 of you on board.  Then he flies you up and out through the gunfire, to the waiting doctors and nurses.

Ed kept coming back, and he kept coming back, and he kept coming back.................13 more times.....and took over 30 of you and your buddies out, who otherwise would NEVER gotten out.

Congressional Medal of Honor recipient Ed Freeman died this past September 26th, in Boise, ID, at the age of 80.

May God rest his soul.

Oh yeah................Paul Newman died that day, too.  I guess you knew that.  He got a lot more press than Ed Freeman.

ONE
Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets.
I asked for a half dozen nuggets.
'We don't have half dozen nuggets,' said the teenager at the counter.
'You don't?' I replied.
'We only have six, nine, or twelve,' was the reply.
'So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?'
'That's right.'
So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets
(Unbelievable but sadly true...)
TWO
I was checking out at the local Woolworths with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those 'dividers' that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed.
After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the 'divider', looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it.
Not finding the bar code, she said to me, 'Do you know how much this is?'
I said to her 'I've changed my mind; I don't think I'll buy that today.'
She said 'OK,' and I paid her for the things and left.
She had no clue to what had just happened.
THREE
A woman at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly.
When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM 'thingy.'
(keep shuddering!!)
FOUR
I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. 'Do you need some help?' I asked.
She replied, 'I knew I! should have replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?'
'Hmmm, I don't know. Do you have an alarm, too?' I asked.
'No, just this remote thingy,' she answered, handing it and the car keys to me. As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, 'Why don't you drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a long walk....'
PLEASE just lay down before you hurt yourself !!!

FIVE
Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, 'I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?' 'Just use paper from the photocopier', the secretary told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five 'blank' copies.
Brunette, by the way!!
SIX
A mother calls 000 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to take her kid to the emergency room, the kid had eaten ants. The dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and he should be fine, the mother says, 'I just gave him some ant killer......'
Dispatcher: 'Rush him in to emergency!'

A young teenager comes home from school and asks her mother, "Is it true what Rita just told me? That babies come out of the same place where boys put their thingies?" "Yes, dear," replies her mother, pleased that the subject had finally come up and she wouldn't have to explain it. "But then when I have a baby, won't it knock my teeth out?"

A wife was helping her husband set up his new computer, and at the appropriate time in the process, it told him he would now need to enter a password... Something he would use to log-on. Her husband was in a rather devilish mood and figured he would go for the shock effect to bring this to his wife's attention. So, when the computer asked him to enter his password, he made it plainly obvious to his wife that he was keying in: P...E...N...I...S... His wife fell out of her chair laughing when the computer replied ***PASSWORD INVALID............NOT LONG ENOUGH***

 
It was the first day of a new school year. Three boys arrive at class late and the teacher asks the first boy "Why are you tardy," the boy replies "I've been on Blueberry Hill" the teacher said "Take your seat." She asks the next boy why he was late. "I was on Blueberry Hill also" he replied. Then she asked the third boy, but he replied with the same answer. As the boys we're sitting down a girl arrives in. "Let me guess", said the teacher. "You where on Blueberry Hill aslo" "NO.... I am Blueberry Hill" replied the girl.

A Brunette, a Redhead, and a Blonde. They were all talking one day and the brunette says "Oh my gosh y'all I went through my daughter's purse the other day to get some gum, and I found an ounce of weed. I cannot believe she smokes weed" They comfort her, and the redhead says "Yeah, well I found a fake I. D. In my daughter's purse. I cannot believe she has one". So they all comfort her. Then the blond says "That's nothing. I found a condom in my daughter's purse. I just cannot believe she has a penis"

Little Johnny comes home from school one day and asks his mother what "shit" meant. Thinking fast she replied "food on the table". Next day he comes home and asks his mother what does "son of a bitch" mean. Again, thinking fast again she says "It's a priest". Next day he comes home a asks what does "fuckin'" mean. She says it means "getting dressed". That same night a priest was coming over for dinner. Johnny is just finished setting the table when he hears the doorbell ring. He yells "got it". He opens the door and says "Hey son of a bitch, shits on the table and mom and dad are upstairs fuckin'".

A man was traveling down a country road when he saw a large group of people outside a house. He stopped and asked a person why the large crowd was there. A farmer replied, "Joe's mule kicked his mother-in-law and she died." "Well," replied the man, "she must have had a lot of friends." "Nope," said the farmer, "we all just want to buy his mule.

Hi Everyone! I hope that everyone has had a good summer and their fall is going great. Well, the election is finally over and we have a new president. I am sooo glad that it is over and we have a new asshole to lead us to the promise land. What a fucking crock of shit. He will be just like all of the other pass assholes that promised us everything and gave us nothing. I wish our new president all the luck in the world. This past election season I have stated before that I didn't like either of the two finalist in the head dick in charge contest. Now the uninformed voice of America has spoken. God help us all.

Irregardless of that, I am thankful to live in a country in which I can freely call the leader of our county a dickhead and asshole. Ain't america great? This past summer I made a trip north from Louisiana to Montana. It was a wonderful trip. I did miss Sturgis though. I showed up a couple of weeks too late. Still the country up there is just beautiful. I hit a bunch of states on the trip, Mississippi, Tennessee, Missouri, Iowa, South Dakota, Montana, Wyoming, Nebraska, Kansas, Oklahoma, Texas and finally back home to Louisiana. I can't wait to make it again hopefully on my motorcycle next time.

I am trying something new here. I haven't blogged here in a long time. There has been some changes made here since I first logged onto it so if you see some strange shit, don't worry, just me experimenting.

I'm out of here right now. Y'all have a great day.

Earl

If you are going to live or visit in the South, you need to know these rules.
 
 1. That farm boy you see at the gas station did more work before breakfast than you do all week at the gym.
 
 2. It's called a "gravel road." No matter how slow you drive, you're going to get dust on your Navigator. Drive it or get out of the way.
 
 3. The red dirt -- it's called clay. Red clay. If you like the color don't wash your car for a couple weeks -- it'll be permanent.
 
 4. We all started hunting and fishing when we were seven years old.  Yeah, we saw Bambi. We got over it.
 
 5. Go ahead and bring your $600 Orvis Fly Rod. Don't cry to us if a flathead breaks it off at the handle. We have a name for those little 13-inch trout you fish for -- bait.
 
 6. Pull your pants up. You look like an idiot.
 
 7. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of mallards are making their final approach, we will shoot it. You might want to ensure it's not up to your ear at the time.
 
 8. No, there's no "Vegetarian Special" on the menu. Order steak.  Order it rare. Or, you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the two pounds of ham and turkey. 

 9. Tea - yeah, we have tea. It comes in a glass over ice and is sweet.  Y ou want it hot -- sit it in the sun. You want it unsweetened -- add a lot of water.
 
 10. You bring Coke into my house, it better be brown, wet, and served over ice.
 
 11. So you have a sixty thousand-dollar car. We're real impressed. We have a quarter of a million-dollar combine that we only use two weeks a year.
 
 12. Let's get this straight. We have one stoplight in town. We stop when it's red. We may even stop when it's yellow.
 
 13. We eat dinner together with our families. We pray before we eat (yeah, even breakfast). We go to church on Wednesdays and Sundays and we go to high school football games on Friday nights. We still address our seniors with "yes, sir" and "yes, ma'am," and we sometimes still take Sunday drives around town to see friends and neighbors.
 
 14. We don't do "hurry up" well.
 
 15. Greens - yeah, we have greens, but you don't putt on them. You boil them with salty fatback, bacon or a ham hock.
 
 16. Yeah, we eat catfish, bass, bream (pronounced brim)  and carp. You really want sushi and caviar? It's available at the bait shop.
 
 17. They are pigs. That's what they smell like. Get over it. Don't like it? Interstate 85 goes two ways - Interstate 40 goes the other two. Pick one.
 
 18. Grits are corn. You put butter, salt, and maybe even some pepper on them. If you want to put milk and sugar on them, then you want Cream of  Wheat - go to Kansas. That would be I-40 west.
 
 19. The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer season or dove season. Both are holidays. You can get pancakes, cane syrup, and sausage before daylight at the church on either day.
 
 20. So every person in every pickup waves? Yeah, it's called being friendly. Understand the concept?
 
 21. Yeah, we have golf courses. Don't hit in the water hazards. It spooks the fish and bothers the gators - and if you hit it in the rough, we have these things called diamondbacks, and they're not baseball players.
 
 22. That Highway Patrol Officer that just pulled you over for driving like an idiot -- his name is "Sir," no matter how young he is. 

23. We have lots of pine trees. They have sap. It drips from them. You park your Navigator under them, and they'll leave a logo on your hood.
 
 24. You burn an American flag in our state, you get beat up. No questions. The liberal contingent of our state legislature -- all four of them -- enacted a measure to stop this. There is now a $2.50 fine for beating up the flag burner.
 
 25. No, we don't care how you do things up North. If it is so great up there, why not visit a Northern state or stay there? And no, down here, we don't have an accent, you do.

Quote

Performance Bartending
This is kind of like Cocktail, except that it doesn't have that ridiculous Beach Boys song in it.


Courtesy of IFILM