A young teenager comes home from school and asks her mother, "Is it true what Rita just told me? That babies come out of the same place where boys put their thingies?" "Yes, dear," replies her mother, pleased that the subject had finally come up and she wouldn't have to explain it. "But then when I have a baby, won't it knock my teeth out?"

A wife was helping her husband set up his new computer, and at the appropriate time in the process, it told him he would now need to enter a password... Something he would use to log-on. Her husband was in a rather devilish mood and figured he would go for the shock effect to bring this to his wife's attention. So, when the computer asked him to enter his password, he made it plainly obvious to his wife that he was keying in: P...E...N...I...S... His wife fell out of her chair laughing when the computer replied ***PASSWORD INVALID............NOT LONG ENOUGH***

 
It was the first day of a new school year. Three boys arrive at class late and the teacher asks the first boy "Why are you tardy," the boy replies "I've been on Blueberry Hill" the teacher said "Take your seat." She asks the next boy why he was late. "I was on Blueberry Hill also" he replied. Then she asked the third boy, but he replied with the same answer. As the boys we're sitting down a girl arrives in. "Let me guess", said the teacher. "You where on Blueberry Hill aslo" "NO.... I am Blueberry Hill" replied the girl.

A Brunette, a Redhead, and a Blonde. They were all talking one day and the brunette says "Oh my gosh y'all I went through my daughter's purse the other day to get some gum, and I found an ounce of weed. I cannot believe she smokes weed" They comfort her, and the redhead says "Yeah, well I found a fake I. D. In my daughter's purse. I cannot believe she has one". So they all comfort her. Then the blond says "That's nothing. I found a condom in my daughter's purse. I just cannot believe she has a penis"

Little Johnny comes home from school one day and asks his mother what "shit" meant. Thinking fast she replied "food on the table". Next day he comes home and asks his mother what does "son of a bitch" mean. Again, thinking fast again she says "It's a priest". Next day he comes home a asks what does "fuckin'" mean. She says it means "getting dressed". That same night a priest was coming over for dinner. Johnny is just finished setting the table when he hears the doorbell ring. He yells "got it". He opens the door and says "Hey son of a bitch, shits on the table and mom and dad are upstairs fuckin'".

A man was traveling down a country road when he saw a large group of people outside a house. He stopped and asked a person why the large crowd was there. A farmer replied, "Joe's mule kicked his mother-in-law and she died." "Well," replied the man, "she must have had a lot of friends." "Nope," said the farmer, "we all just want to buy his mule.