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9月19日 Motorcycle WisdomMotorcycle Wisdom: Four wheels move the body. Two wheels move the soul. Most motorcycle problems are caused by the nut that connects the handlebars to the saddle. Life may begin at 40, but it doesn't get real interesting until about 110 mph! You start the game of life with a full pot o' luck and an empty pot o'experience... The object is to fill the pot of experience before you empty the pot of luck. If you wait, all that happens is that you get older. Midnight bugs taste best. Saddlebags can never hold everything you want, but they CAN hold everything you need. Never try to race an old geezer, he may have one more gear than you. It takes more love to share the saddle than it does to share the bed. The only good view of a thunderstorm is in your rearview mirror. Never be afraid to slow down. Don't ride so late into the night that you sleep through the sunrise. Sometimes it takes a whole tank full of fuel before you can think straight. Riding faster than everyone else only guarantees you'll ride alone. Never hesitate to ride past the last street light at the edge of town. Never do less than forty miles before breakfast. If you don't ride in the rain, you don't ride. A bike on the road is worth two in the shed. Respect the person who has seen the dark side of motorcycling and lived. Young riders pick a destination and go... Old riders pick a direction and go. A good mechanic will let you watch without charging you for it. Sometimes the fastest way to get there is to stop for the night. Always back your bike into the curb, and sit where you can see it. Work to ride and ride to work. Whatever it is, it's better in the wind. Two-lane blacktop isn't a highway - it's an attitude. When you look down the road, it seems to never end - but you better believe it does. Winter is Nature's way of telling you to polish. Keep your bike in good repair: Motorcycle boots are NOT comfortable for walking. People are like Motorcycles: each is customized a bit differently. Sometimes, the best communication happens when you're on separate bikes. Good coffee should be indistinguishable from 50 weight motor oil. The best alarm clock is sunshine on chrome. The twisties - not the superslabs -separate the riders from the squids. When you're riding lead, don't spit. A friend is someone who'll get out of bed at 2 am to drive his pickup to the middle of nowhere to get you when you're broken down. Catching a yellow jacket in your shirt @ 70 mph can double your vocabulary. If you want to get somewhere before sundown, you can't stop at every tavern. There's something ugly about a NEW bike on a trailer. Don't lead the pack if you don't know where you're going. Practice wrenching on your own bike. Everyone crashes. Some get back on. Some don't. Some can't. Don't argue with an 18-wheeler. Never be ashamed to unlearn an old habit. A good long ride can clear your mind, restore your faith, and use up a lot of fuel. If you can't get it going with baling wire, bungee cords and electrician's tape, it's serious. If you ride like there's no tomorrow, there won't be. Gray-haired riders don't get that way from pure luck. There are drunk riders. There are old riders. There are NO old, drunk riders. Thin leather looks good in the bar, but it won't save your butt from 'roadrash' if you go down. The best modifications cannot be seen from the outside. Always replace the cheapest parts first. You can forget what you do for a living when your knees are in the breeze. Only a Biker knows why a dog sticks his head out of a car window. There are two types of people in this world, people who ride motorcycles, and people who wish they could ride motorcycles. 'It is good to have an end to journey towards; but it is the journey that matters in the end.' Another old blogI visited an old friend in the hospital the other day. His body savaged by the ravages of time and disease he was in a rather cheerful mood. We chatted about our past and things we had done as young men. Fun times we had and trouble we had gotten in together. We both smiled. I finally asked him how he was feeling and he smiled and said as good as could be expected. I nodded and asked if he had any regrets. He said he had many. He said he regretted that he never got to travel to all the places he wanted to go and that he regretted that he never got to do all the things he wanted. He wondered if his life had been a waste. He regretted that he never told the one woman he truly loved how much he loved her for he feared that she would have rejected and ridiculed him. He watched her marry another and with a broken heart he never loved again. He wondered to me if he had lived his life the right way. He wasn’t a rich man he felt but he had done ok. His bills had always been paid on time and he didn’t owe anyone anything. He had worked an ok job, not exciting but ok. It had provided a roof over his head and it had put food on his table. It enabled him to have a nice vehicle in which to get around in and do the things in life he thought he should. Still, he wondered if he should have done more, if he had missed out on something. He told me that the woman he had loved so much those many years ago came to see him. She had heard that he was ill and wasn’t long for this existence much longer and she wanted to come and say goodbye. She told him that she too loved him greatly those many years ago and that she too was too shy to say anything to him. She said that even though she married another and had moved away that he was always in her thoughts everyday. I could tell that this had made him a little sad but also it made him smile because he now knew that she did in fact love him. I asked him if there were anything he would have changed about his life. He said that there was probably very little he would have changed other than telling his one true love how much he had cared for her and that perhaps he would have traveled to all those places he wanted to see. He grasped my hand and gave it a squeeze and he thanked me for being such a good friend. I looked at him puzzled and I was rather surprised at this. I had never considered myself a good friend. While we had hung out together as younger men and had many misadventures together we had lost touch as of late and hadn’t see much of each other. Life got in the way. When he saw my puzzlement he smiled and said “you always listened to me”, “no matter how stupid of a thought it was or how redundant the story, you always listened to me”. I smile and nodded, a tear running down my cheek. I knew that once I had left here I would never see my friend again. He said “thank you for all those years of enjoyment and excitement and wonderment you brought to my life”. “We had many a great adventure and misadventures together didn’t we?” I laughed and said “yes we did”. I could see him growing weary and I told him that I guess that I had best be leaving. He nodded saying he was tired and would like to rest. I excused myself and I went into the bathroom to “wash” my face and to gather myself. I looked into the mirror at myself and I saw not only myself but my friend as well. I saw both of us as young men, full of life and amazement at the world around us. I now saw me for who I had become, a bitter and spiteful old man. I wondered if I would have as much dignity as my friend when it became my time to pass on or would I be bitter and resentful. I walked out of the bathroom and my friend was sleeping. I leaned over and squeezed his hand and kissed him on the forehead. I whispered into his ear “thank YOU for being my friend, I will miss you with all my heart”. With that I left. Later that night I received a call from the nurse that cared for him and she said that he had passed. She said after I had left he had a smile on his face the rest of the evening and that he passed with that smile on his face. As I sit here at his funeral, I see that he did indeed live a rich full life. There are more beautiful flowers from co-workers, business associates and friend, my god, all the friends. The room is full of people I do not know, all talking about what a special person he was and how much he will be truly missed. My friend lived a rich full life and never realized it. He touched many people and never knew. As they lay him to his final resting place, I place a single red rose on his casket and put my hand on it as if to say goodbye one last time. I walk away, the bitter cold stinging at me as I pull the collar up over my coat. A tear runs down my cheek. I think to myself, Goodbye my old friend, god speed to you. Written from yahoo 360 last year![]() A gunman walks into a Lane Bryant store in the morning and kills 5 women for $200.00. A man that thinks the government has done him wrong and kill numerous people including 2 police officers. A girl walks into a classroom and shoots and kills 2 girls and then herself. The list goes on and on. Fathers killing the families, mothers killing their children. Kids killing kids, etc. I don't know, I don't understand sometimes. The gunman that killed the women in Lane Bryant is nothing more than a punk ass that should be executed as soon as the police catch him. The others, I don't have and answer. Some people want to blame the easy accessibility of firearms. I don't buy that. Before the firearms act of 1968 guns were a lot easier to get. I can remember going into a diner here in town during football season and they would have a LSU football board and the winner would get a 30-30 lever action Winchester rifle. What has happened since then that people think they have to pick up a gun to settle their differences? I have a theory. Actually I have several. When I was a kid, we had arguments with friends and others. We got in to fist fights. Some times we got our ass beat, sometimes we didn't. Sometimes we just fought until we both just got tired and gave up. Over the years, the 60's, the 70's, 80's, and so on as a society we changed. Our generation changed. In wanting to change the world and make it better we changed ourselves. We have taken to trying to protect ourselves from EVERYTHING. We are forced to wear seat belts because our government look at us as children that are not smart enough to make the decision for ourself to buckle up. We have more restrictions on the possession and ownership of firearms than we ever have and gun related crime is at its highest. I work in a not too good area of Baton Rouge and I pack to work every night even though I know that if I get caught with a firearm at work I could be fired. I accept that. I would rather lose my job than my life. There is a movement afoot to take the boy out of boys. Certain groups want to make boys stop playing cops and robbers and cowboys and indians. Oh and lets not forget they don't want them to play army. Take the toy guns away from them, it teaches them to become killers they say. I played cops and robbers and I played cowboys and indian's and I played army and I have never ever killed anyone. doesn't mean I haven't wanted to. Some people just need to have their lives ended prematurely. It is in boys to want to play boy games. We have "zero" tolerances in school now. If a kid gets in a fight they are suspended or expelled. Kids are getting expelled for simply having a butter knife to put peanut butter on a slice of bread. Whats wrong here. Schools started getting worse when they took corporal punishment out of the schools and when the teaches lost the ability to discipline a child. Now I know the difference between discipline/punishment and abuse is. I think most people do. I think what has happened is in our zeal to make the world a "better" place someone decided that the individual is no longer responsible for their actions, it is the fault of "society". That total bullshit. People just don't want to own up the anything anymore. "I didn't have sex with that woman." It wasn't me, I wasn't even there. A woman has a couple of kids and then kills them because her boyfriend doesn't like kids. What the fuck is up with that? It wasn't my fault, I was crazy. Well fucking duh. I have a friend that has taught high school for over 31 years. She had finally retired and does tutoring now. She will tell you flat out that kids today are spoiled narcissistic little brats that need their asses whipped. Their parents hover over them trying to "protect" them. In their eyes their precious little snowflakes can do no wrong. No matter how much you show them how their crotchfruit has fucked up they won't believe you. Their kids end up getting arrested for dwi at early ages and their parents keep bailing them out. These kids are going to be in for a very rude awakening when they get older. Look at the presidential race that is going on right now. Look at what you have running. Hillary Clinton wants to give everyone universal health care and she is going to force you to get it even if you don't want it. Fuck you MaMa Clinton. Obama, well, I have hear him speak but I haven't head him say anything. McCain, I want to like him but something is keeping me away. Maybe it is his cozying up to the likes of Feinstein and Kennedy. There are no Democrats I would vote for and I don't know yet if I can vote for the Republican candidate. I feel that if either one of them get in we as a nation are completely fucked. The stimulus package. What can I say here. Well, if they really wanted to stimulate the economy first off they would make the tax cuts permanent and work on changing the entire tax code. They would drop the corporate tax rate from 35% to 25%. They would work on a flat tax, 10 or 12% perhaps. I know if I had more of my income that I earned I would spend more. If you spend more there is more revenue going into the stores. The stores make more money which translates into more tax revenue. See, everyone wins. No, I don't know what is happening to us. I don't know where we are going. I'm afraid before it is all over we will become a nation of trapped rats, controlled by our government overlords. We will have to have a national drivers license (ID) (show your papers). The constitution as we know it will probably no longer exist. The war on terror and the war on drugs will see to that. We will have to show our papers when asked, we will not be allowed to posses firearms to protect ourselves and our family. If you think your government can protect your well just remember Hurricane Katrina and New Orleans. They did a bang up job there didn't they. I want to thank everyone that comes by and reads my stuff. Sorry I haven't posted lately but things here have pretty busy and I just haven't been online much lately. So....y'all tell me, what are y'all going to do about 360? Y'all gonna hang around and see what happens to 360 and what yahoo is going to do to it or are you going to move to some other place. Have a great weekend y'all. 4月19日 Learning a lesson!I recently asked my friend's little girl what she wanted to be when she grows up. She said she wanted to be President some day. Both of her parents, liberal Democrats, were standing there, so I asked her, 'If you were President what would be the first thing you would do?' She thought that over for a few seconds, then she looked me straight in the eye and asked, 'Why doesn't the homeless guy come over and do the work, and you can just pay him the $50?' I said, 'Welcome to the Republican Party.' Living to be 90!I recently picked a new primary care doctor. After two visits and exhaustive Lab tests, he said I was doing 'fairly well' . 2月3日 God Speed Ed Freeman!
Who is Ed Freeman you say? Well, read and find out. Missing from the news.... You're a 19 year old kid, critically wounded, and dying in the jungle in the Ia Drang Valley, November the 14th, 1965, LZ Xray, Vietnam. Your infantry unit is outnumbered eight to one, and the enemy fire is so intense, from 100 or 200 yards away, that your own infantry commander has ordered the medi-vac helicopters to stop coming in. You're lying there, listening to the enemy machine guns and you know you're not getting out. Your family is half way around the world, 12,000 miles away, and you'll never see them again. As the world starts to fade in and out, you know this is 'the' day. Then, over the machine gun noise, you faintly hear that sound of a helicopter, and you look up to see an un-armed EH-1 Huey. It doesn't seem real, because there are no medi-vac markings on it. Ed Freeman is coming for you. He's not medi-vac, so it's not his job, but he's flying his Huey down into the machine gun fire, after the medi-vacs were told not to come. He's coming anyway. Ed drops in and sits there in the machine gun fire as they load 2 or 3 of you on board. Then he flies you up and out through the gunfire, to the waiting doctors and nurses. Ed kept coming back, and he kept coming back, and he kept coming back.................13 more times.....and took over 30 of you and your buddies out, who otherwise would NEVER gotten out. Congressional Medal of Honor recipient Ed Freeman died this past September 26th, in Boise, ID, at the age of 80. May God rest his soul.
Oh yeah................Paul Newman died that day, too. I guess you knew that. He got a lot more press than Ed Freeman. 1月29日 ...And they are allowed to breed
11月23日 Some Jokes for a Sunday Evening!A young teenager comes home from school and asks her mother, "Is it true what Rita just told me? That babies come out of the same place where boys put their thingies?" "Yes, dear," replies her mother, pleased that the subject had finally come up and she wouldn't have to explain it. "But then when I have a baby, won't it knock my teeth out?"
11月19日 Happy Thanksgiving!Hi Everyone! I hope that everyone has had a good summer and their fall is going great. Well, the election is finally over and we have a new president. I am sooo glad that it is over and we have a new asshole to lead us to the promise land. What a fucking crock of shit. He will be just like all of the other pass assholes that promised us everything and gave us nothing. I wish our new president all the luck in the world. This past election season I have stated before that I didn't like either of the two finalist in the head dick in charge contest. Now the uninformed voice of America has spoken. God help us all. Irregardless of that, I am thankful to live in a country in which I can freely call the leader of our county a dickhead and asshole. Ain't america great? This past summer I made a trip north from Louisiana to Montana. It was a wonderful trip. I did miss Sturgis though. I showed up a couple of weeks too late. Still the country up there is just beautiful. I hit a bunch of states on the trip, Mississippi, Tennessee, Missouri, Iowa, South Dakota, Montana, Wyoming, Nebraska, Kansas, Oklahoma, Texas and finally back home to Louisiana. I can't wait to make it again hopefully on my motorcycle next time. I am trying something new here. I haven't blogged here in a long time. There has been some changes made here since I first logged onto it so if you see some strange shit, don't worry, just me experimenting. I'm out of here right now. Y'all have a great day. Earl 5月29日 Political Science for DummiesPolitical Science for
Dummies
3月14日 SOUTHERN RULES!If you are going to live or visit in the South, you need to know these rules.
23. We have lots of pine trees. They have sap. It drips from them. You park your Navigator under them, and they'll leave a logo on your hood.
3月1日 HAPPY MARDI GRAS!Today I spent a few hours mowing the grass in my back yard. During this job I happen to run over several red ant mounds. After running over these mounds I couldn’t help but wonder what the ants thought of this. Was this some sort of catastrophe like Hurricane Katrina to them? One minute they are happy and content in their little ant lives and all of a sudden there community is destroyed by some outside force. Was my mower like some kind of natural disaster to them? Was A.N.N. (Ant News Network) on the site and reporting about all the ant deaths and the lost ant families? Was there much finger (or what ever ants have) pointing and blaming on their Government officials? Where was AEMA (Ant Emergency Management Agency)? Where was the Queen? What did she know about the disaster and when did she know it? Were there various Ant leaders crying about the fate of the poor and disenfranchised black ants? Were there Ant looters and Ant disaster survivors looking for food? Did the Ant police walk off the job in disgust or fear or because of depression? Did lots of Ant celebrities show up to pose for the A.N.N. cameras and make statements about some far off war the Queen had her army ants fighting against some terrorist bees. Did the Queen bring in Army Ant Special Forces and Army Ant National Guard to patrol the neighbor hoods? Were there cries of antmanity from all over the Ant word? Will hearings be held on the Government failure to protect the ants from this “natural” disaster? I doubt that any of this took place. Watching the ants, they scrambled around and started doing their job rebuilding their home with out assistance from the government or disaster agencies. They took care of themselves. They worked to rebuild themselves. Their mounds will probably be rebuilt with in a few days and I’ll have to rain death and destruction upon them again as I just can’t stand red ants as I’m allergic to them. Ant mounds work as a cohesive unit, building and supplying food and caring for their queen. We, humans, on the other hand work as an individual unit. What happened in New Orleans has many faults and much blame to go around. Should New Orleans still be in the news? I don’t really have the answer to that. Being from Louisiana and seeing what is going on here with the “rebuilding” plans and looking at what is being done in Mississippi and Alabama and Texas all I can assume is that New Orleans is trying come back. Like the ants, it has lots of people both local and outside workers helping to rebuild New Orleans. There are lots of people displaced and unable to return. We have all read the stories of the evacuees in the hotels pissing and moaning about getting tossed out on their collective asses. Where are they going to go and what are they going to do? Well, I really don’t give a fuck. It has been 6 months since the hurricane and you haven’t gotten a job or and apartment or other housing yet? Sorry, fuck you. Get up off of your damn welfare ass and do something. Become a productive member of society. Those people that had jobs, owned property and contributed to the city are welcome back. If you were a welfare rat, well, you can get welfare anywhere. Don’t come back. I say, take the 9th ward and let all that property be sold at fare market value to the highest bidder and let the rebuilding begin. Take it and sell it to the mega casinos/resorts out of Las Vegas. Give them huge tax breaks but demand they build a casino/resort of a certain minimum size. Make New Orleans the Las Vegas of the south. To do that we of course would need to elect some “Good” people and get rid of all the old ass cronies that are there now. I say redo the entire state levee board system to just 1 maybe 2 levee boards and staff them with engineers that know what they are doing. Not what they have now. Louisiana needs a complete redo of its political system. From local levels all the way up to the state level. New Orleans just had its first Mardi Gras since the hurricane. It was small and crowds were less but it was still a party none the less. Good for them. They needed it. With that all said I’ll end this with La Lazie Bon Temps Rouler, LET THE GOOD TIMES ROLL! 1月8日 I never get a bartender like this.
Quote Performance Bartending 12月15日 The Seven Days of Christmas (for Katrina Survivors)The Twelve Days of Post-Katrina Christmas On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me... The power turned back on by Entergy. On the second day of Christmas, my true love gave to me... Two rubber gloves And the power turned back on by Entergy. On the third day of Christmas, my true love gave to me... Three flood adjusters Two rubber gloves And the power turned back on by Entergy. On the fourth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me... Four jugs of bleach Three flood adjusters Two rubber gloves And the power turned back on by Entergy. On the fifth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me... Five MREs! Four jugs of bleach Three flood adjusters Two rubber gloves And the power turned back on by Entergy. On the sixth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me... Six FEMA payments Five MREs! Four jugs of bleach Three flood adjusters Two rubber gloves And the power turned back on by Entergy. On the seventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me... Seven sacks of sheetrock Six FEMA payments Five MREs! Four jugs of bleach Three flood adjusters Two rubber gloves And the power turned back on by Entergy. On the eighth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me... Eight electricians wiring Seven sacks of sheetrock Six FEMA payments Five MREs! Four jugs of bleach Three flood adjusters Two rubber gloves And the power turned back on by Entergy. On the ninth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me... Nine sweepers sweeping Eight electricians wiring Seven sacks of sheetrock Six FEMA payments Five MREs! Four jugs of bleach Three flood adjusters Two rubber gloves And the power turned back on by Entergy. On the tenth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me... Ten dump trucks hauling Nine sweepers sweeping Eight electricians wiring Seven sacks of sheetrock Six FEMA payments Five MREs! Four jugs of bleach Three flood adjusters Two rubber gloves And the power turned back on by Entergy. On the eleventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me... Eleven roofers roofing Ten dump trucks hauling Nine sweepers sweeping Eight electricians wiring Seven sacks of sheetrock Six FEMA payments Five MREs! Four jugs of bleach Three flood adjusters Two rubber gloves And the power turned back on by Entergy. On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me... Twelve plumbers plumbing Eleven roofers roofing Ten dump trucks hauling Nine sweepers sweeping Eight electricians wiring Seven sacks of sheetrock Six FEMA payments Five MREs! Four jugs of bleach Three flood adjusters Two rubber gloves And the power turned back on by Entergyyyyy! PLEASE! PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!! 12月4日 Recent trip to New OrleansRecently I made a trip to New Olreans to check things out for myself. I rode down to the Lakeside area of the city. This is where the first levee gave way. On this site you will see some of the pictures from that trip. You really can't describe it. You hear the news assholes refer to it as looking like a war zone. I had always thought that was not right.......until I saw it for myself. I really didn't feel anything while I was looking and taking pictures. No sorrow, no greif...nothing. I was indeed stunned though. You can't imagine the damage. You see piles and piles of debris piled by the street. Each day this is hauled off and dumped. You come off the interstate and there is a huge area where they are dumping the trees that have been uprooted and cut up. As you ride down the street every house is affected. Some housed you see watermarks above the windows. Some you see no watermarks on the walls at all, those watermarks are on the roofs. There are huge X's painted on the doors or walls of houses and on the sides of cars. There is a date on the top of the X and a number at the bottom. That is the date that house was inspected and the number at the bottom are the number of dead found there. Where we were driving around we saw only 2 places that had dead found there. One was and apartment complex, 30 dead there and a house, 3 dead there. We managed to get to the levees that broke and you will see those pics here as well. If we would have had more time we would have traveled into more areas. One area we went into where 2nd levee broke, I'm assuming it is the 9th ward, it was totally silent. It was erie. No children playing, no car horns blowing, no music playing. Nothing, just plain old dead silence. We drove about 10 minutes from there into the French Quarter and it was a whole different scene there. It was business as usual which is very very good. The city needs that. Still though, it is an odd feeling. We saw a few hotels with some windows blown out and covered up but not all that bad. We ate lunch, walked around a bit and finished it off at Cafe Du Monde'. As we headed out we passed by the Hyatt Regency and it was still a mess. All of the windows are gone. I thought about the fantastic resturant they have at the top of the Regency that revolves around in a circle as you eat. You have a fantastic view of the city and it makes one circle during about the time it takes you to order and get your meal and finish eating. I guess that will be no more. The SuperDome you couldn't even tell what had happend there. There were 2 huge trucks out front with some kind of fan generator and I'm assuming that there were blowing air through huge hoses to dry things out. The ceiling looked to be repaired. I hope to go down there again before too long and take more pictures. After viewing all the devistation, I still do not hold the federal goverment responsible, I hold our local and state officials responsible. Thats my opinion and I'm sticking to it. Check out the pic and then pray for the recovery of New Orleans. 12月1日 Excitment at work tonight!Well what an exciting night at work tonight. It seems we had 3 individuals that showed up here tonight and wanted to use the phone. 1 black guy, 1 white guy and 1 white girl. What and odd combination of friends to be hanging around in the middle of the night in the middle of nowhere looking to use a phone because their vehicle broke down. A vehicle that we here at work didn’t see parked anywhere. While making their “phone” call one of the 3 asked if we were hiring. Well being since it is around 2: am I would have to say no we are not hiring especially them since the appeared to be Crack Heads. I just don’t think that either of the three would pass the drug screen. The inbound supervisor decided to call the police to have the escort them off of the property (good call on his part). The inbound supervisor decided to move his pick up truck and me; well I decided to arm myself. Shortly after contacting the police we received a call from the police to check on them and see if they were still there and if they had left to try to see where they had walked off to. It seems that the 3 upstanding youths had just robbed a man at knife point not far from work and the police had been looking for them. The supervisor walked outside to “chat” with them just about the time the police pulled up. I was standing at the front door with the door open holding the door watching. The police got out of their cars with their guns drawn and made everyone (except me) lay on the ground, my supervisor included. The police were looking for 1 black guy, 1 white guy and 1 white girl. They found 1 black guy, 1 white guy and 1 white girl. Only problem here is the white guy was my supervisor. I informed the officers in no uncertain terms that they had my supervisor handcuffed and I would appreciate it if they would release him because I need him at work doing his job and not laying on the wet ground next to a panty less crack head hooker and her black boyfriend/pimp/friend/dealer what ever the fuck he was. The officer in no uncertain terms basically told me to go fuck myself, well not in those words. While the one officer held them on the ground at gun point the other officer searched our freight yard here and located the other suspect laying under a piece of cardboard behind some trailers. They released our supervisor and thanked us for our help. I congratulated the supervisor on catching the bad guys. They went off to jail and we went back to work with a story to tell. Just another day in the life of a freight man.
UPDATE!
Well, It turns out it wasn't a robbery after all and a prostitution deal gone bad. Ahhh to have the life of a Crack Head. 11月21日 What "Angel" are you? Me, well I'm not a nice one.Which Warrior Angel are You and Whose Side are You On? (With Anime Pics)
Dark Warrior Class: Cherub Alliance: Dark You are 100% fire and brimstone and a force to be reckoned with. You are passionate and hot-tempered and believe in using force to achieve your desired outcome. You enjoy striking fear in the hearts of others. Your Angelic Name: Malefica 10月17日 NEW ORLEANS (NAWLINS') SPEAK!A Lexicon of New Orleans SpeechALGERIAN - Someone from Algiers (the only part of the City of New Orleans to lie on the West Bank). Some locals say "Algereens", but we always said Algerians. It's funnier.ALLIGATOR PEAR - Avocado. ANYWAYS - And, then; and, so. ARABIAN - Someone from Arabi, in St. Bernard Parish. See "Algerian". AWRITE - The appropriate response to the greeting "Where y'at?" Also, a greeting in and of itself: "Awrite, Ed!" AWRITE, HAWT - A female response of agreement. AX - Ask. BANQUETTE - The sidewalk. Pronounced <BANK-it>. Usage fairly rare nowadays. BAT'TROOM - A room in the house where one doesn't find bats, but where one bathes, attends to the elimination of bodily waste, or locks oneself in and cries until one gets one's way. BERL - To cook by surrounding something in hot, bubbling 212°F liquid; the preferred method for cooking shellfish. BINHAVIN, BEEN HAVIN' - To have had something for a long time, as in . Q: "How long ya had dat dress? A: "Oh, I binhavin dat." BINLOOKIN, BEEN LOOKIN' - To have searched for something for a long time, as in "I binlookin f'dat book." BOBO - A small injury or wound. BOO - A term of endearment, frequently used by parents and grandparents for small children, even small children who happen to be 40 years old ... Believed to be Cajun in origin. BRA - A form of address for men, usually one with whom you are not acquainted. Usually used in this manner: "Say, bra ..." The preferred term of address of SWEATS. BRAKE TAG - An inspection sticker on your car, proof that you've passed the required annual safety inspection. It encompasses several areas of your car (e.g., horn, wipers, etc.) but is primarily concerned with the integrity of your brakes. Given the fact that New Orleans is surrounded by various lakes, rivers and canals, a bad set of brakes could mean that you might end up at the bottom of one of those bodies of water at the very least. Throughout New Orleans (although I'm not sure about other parts of Louisiana), the inspection sticker is called a "brake tag". If it's expired and you get pulled over, you're guaranteed to get a ticket. (Believe me, I know.) BY MY HOUSE, BY YOUR HOUSE, etc. - Analogous to the French terms "chez moi", "chez toi", etc. Usage: "He slept by my house last night." "At" is never used in this sense. CAP - A form of address for men, usually ones with whom you are not acquainted. Women generally do not use this term. See also PODNA and BRA. CATLICK - The predominant religion in New Orleans. And, according to some Baptists, all Hell-bound. CEMENT - A standard English word, but with a special pronunciation. Locals say <SEE-ment>, not <s@-MENT>. CHALMETIAN, CHALMATION - Someone from Chalmette, a city in St. Bernard Parish that's part of the New Orleans "metro area". Occasionally used as an insult. (Many New Orleanians have a low opinion of Chalmette.) Out-of-towners often pronounce it with the hard "ch" sound as in "charge". It's more like <shall-MAY-shen> or <shall-ME-shen>, and the city is pronounced <shall-MET>.
CHARMER - The quintessential female Yat. Pronounced <CHAW-muh>. CHIEF, CHEEF - A form of address between men, along the lines of "cap" and "podna". COARDNER - Corner. As in, "I'm going down to the coardner to get me a shrimp po-boy." This is a contribution from native New Orleanian Powtawche N. Williams, who says, "My family in the 7th Ward uses it all the time." (I've never heard it, me ... but my family's from da 9th Ward, so who knows?) CUSH-CUSH, KUSH-KUSH, COUCHE-COUCHE - An old French/Cajun breakfast dish my grandmother used to prepare. The words rhyme with "push", and it is prepared by browning or searing cornmeal in an oil glazed pot till light brown, then served hot with sugar and milk in a bowl, just like cereal. (Contributed by Ave from Chalmette) DA - The. DAT - That. DAWLIN' - A universal form of address. Women use it to refer to both sexes, men use it toward women. DEM - Them. DERE - There. As in "Dere ya go!", an expression of encouragement or acknowledgement of having done something for someone else. DESE, DOSE - These, those. DIS - This. DODO, MAKE DODO - Sleep. From the Cajun French "fais do do", or "make sleep". In Acadiana, the term "fais do do" is used for a Cajun dance, and is thought to have originated when the parents would tell their kids to hurry up and "fais do do" so that they could go to the dance; alternately, it's said that the hosts of the house dances (bals de maison) would have a separate room for parents to put their small children, and the lady watching them would keep singing lullabyes and saying "fais do do" so that they could sleep amidst the din of the dancing Cajuns. DOUBLOON - A coin, approximately the size of a silver dollar, minted on a yearly basis by the various Mardi Gras krewes. The standard type is made of aluminum and they're thrown from Mardi Gras floats by the parade riders. The distinctive sound of a doubloon hitting da cement is enough to start a mad scramble, where you're likely to trample on an old lady, or alternately be trampled by an old lady. Doubloons usually come in a variety of colors, and collectors try not only to collect all available colors, but also the exclusive krewe members-only versions made of brushed aluminum, brass or even silver. Doubloons have traditionally been collected with great fervor and rabidity, but from what I can tell their popularity has fallen off over the years. Pronounced <d@-BLOON>, and the cries of "Da-BLOOOOON!!! Da-BLOOOOOOON!!!" can often be heard along parade routes. Unfortunately, the passion for catching doubloons and for doubloon collecting seems to have waned in recent years. Seems people want cups, or those stupid long strings of beads, rather than a nice, collectible doubloon. I think it's a shame. DOWN DA ROAD - A staple in the vocabulary of the St. Bernard Parish Yat, along with up da road. This term is travel directions for someone headed to lower St. Bernard Parish traveling on St. Bernard Highway (US Highway 46). You are usually in da parish when you use this phrase with a destination of either Violet or Poydras. For example: "Let's go down da road and pass over by the trailah pawk." DRESSED - When ordering a po-boy, "dressed" indicates lettuce, tomatoes, pickles and MYNEZ, on it. See NUTTINONIT. EARL, ERL - ELLESHYEW - Louisiana State University, Baton Rouge. Occasionally preceded by the term, "Go ta hell ..." ERNGE, URNGE - An orange-colored citrus fruit. ERSTERS, ERSTAS - Oysters. ESPLANADE - Walkway. The street name is pronounced <es'-pl@-NADE>, and the last syllable rhymes with "raid", not "rod". FAUBOURG - A suburb or outlying neighborhood, as in Faubourg Marigny. Usually pronounced <FO-berg> by natives. FLYIN' HORSES - Accented on the first syllable. A merry-go-round, sometimes specifically describing the merry-go-round in City Park, but also used in general. I've never heard this term used outside of New Orleans to describe a merry-go-round or carousel. FOR - a preposition used by New Orleanians instead of "at" or "by" when referring to time. E.g., "Da parade's for 7:00, but we betta get dere for 6 if we wanna find pawkin'." This one tends to be particularly confusing to non-natives. F'SURE! - F'TRUE - Pronounced <f@-TROO>. When phrased as a question, it means "Is that so?" or "Ya kiddin'!!". When phrased as a statement, it's an affirmation, a shortened version of "Nuh uh, I ain't lyin' ta ya ..." GAWD - A supernatural deity, worshipped by most New Orleanians. GO CUP - A paper or plastic cup for consumption of alcoholic beverages out on the street, as open glass containers (and cans too, I think) are illegal. As a Bunny Matthews bartender character once said, "Here, cap -- I gotta give ya dis beer in a cup, 'cos da City Council passed dis law sayin' I can go ta Angola fa serving ya a beer in a goddamn beer can ..." Many non-New Orleanians are astonished that we can drink out on the street in go cups. When I left New Orleans, I was astonished that you can't do it anywhere else (which nearly got me arrested in Los Angeles ... uncivilized savages.) GOUT - Pronounced <GOO>. French for "taste." Usually applied to coffee. As in, "You want a little gout?" Mostly old people are the only ones still saying this. GRIP - A small suitcase, usually not a hard-shell one, more like a schoolbag or an overnight bag. Other locals have used this to refer to all types of suitcases. "Don't fo'get ya grip!", says ya mamma, as you're leaving the house. GRIPPE - The flu. GRIS-GRIS - Pronounced <GREE-GREE>. Noun, A (voodoo) spell. Can be applied for nefarious purposes ("to put a gris-gris on someone"), or as a force to ward off evil, like wearing a gris-gris bag (the folks at the Voodoo Shop on Dumaine will make one to order for about $20). HAWT - A term of endearment used primarily by local females. HEY, BAY-BEE! - Pronounced <hey, BAAAAAAAY-bee> with the "BAY" drawn way out. A greeting between any two people of either gender. HICKEY - A knot or bump you get on your head when you bump or injure your head. Everywhere else in the world a hickey is what you get on your neck after necking. Not in New Orleans. See PASSION MARK. HOUSE COAT 'N CURLAS - The preferred dress for charmers while shopping at Schwegmann's. HUCK-A-BUCKS or HUCKLE-BUCKS - Frozen Kool-Aid in a Dixie cup. A way to keep cool during the summer. I had never neard this term growing up, but contributor Milton Cloutier from the 7th Ward says they used this term in his neighborhood, and another 7th Warder, Darrel Schexnayder, adds even more:
The term was very common for me growing up in the 7th Ward. Neighbors would sell the frozen treats for a nickel, along time ago. Sometimes we'd make them ourselves. They were as popular as "snow-balls" are/were to the rest of New Orleans.
Musta been a 7th Ward thing. :-)
There is even proper etiquette for eating huckle-bucks (as I used to call them). The first thing you have to do after paying your nickel/quarter or whatever the cost: I'LL TAKE ME A ... - May I have a ... INKPEN - A ball-point pen, or any kind of pen, really. Always heavy emphasis on the first syllable ... "Lemme borra ya INKpen, awrite?" INSURANCE - Pronounced <IN-sure-ence>. JAMBALAYA - A rice-based dish containing meat and seafood, prepared in a nearly infinite variety of ways by Louisianians. The usual out-of-towner mispronunciation has the first syllable rhyming with "jam", when it should rhyme with "Tom" . <jom'-b@-LIE-@>, secondary accent on first syllable, primary accent on third. But one local pronunciation that was brought to my attention (although nobody in my family said it this way) is <JUM-b@-lie'-@>, primary accent of first syllable which rhymes with "bum", secondary accent on third syllable. JAWN - The most popular boys' name in English, pronounced this way among Localese-speakers. Also, a pot ta pee in. Rhymes with "lawn". See TURLET. K&B, KB, KB's - A local drug store for decades, beloved by locals, whose trademark color was a deep, violent purple. Everything in KB was purple, from the price tags to the ink pens (and their ink) to the managers' and cashiers' vests. In the old days, K&B used to have lunch counters and soda fountains, but these were all gone by the time I was in high school in the mid- to late 70s. Also in the old days, there were radio and TV jingles for K&B, the lyrics of which were, "Look on every corner and what do you see? A big purple sign that says 'Your Friendly K&B!'" In schoolyards, the lyrics were often changed to have the big purple sign say something uncomplimentary and/or obscene. "K&B" stands for "Katz and Besthoff". Alas, K&B is no more, having been bought out by some vile Northern chain who changed the chain's name to "Rite Aid" and got rid of the purple. I will never shop there again under any circumstances for as long as I live. It's Walgreen's or Eckerd for me from now on. "Streetcar" Mike Strauch has put up a K&B memorial page, with the background a brilliant, beautiful K&B purple (see below). K&B PURPLE - A particular shade of purple that you'll know if you know K&B. Used in phrases like, "He was so mad, his face was K&B purple", or, "I can't believe ya bought dat ugly car! It's K&B purple!" LAGNIAPPE - Pronounced <LAN-yap>. A little something extra. Lagniappe is when your butcher gives you a pound and two ounces of hot sausage but only charges you for a pound, or when the waiter at your favorite restaurant brings you an extra dessert or something, and doesn't charge you. Lagniappe breeds good will, friendship and most importantly, return business. Also, "Lagniappe" is the name of the entertainment pull-out section of the Friday edition of The New Orleans Times-Picayune. LOCKA - Where you hang your clothes, analogous to the English word "closet". Example: "Mom-MAH! Where my shoes at?" "Looka in ya locka!" (See LOOKA) Occasionally spelled "locker", as if it was proper English. Generally always used in place of the word "closet", but I must confess I have yet to hear this term used in the context of a gay or lesbian person "comin' outta da locka ..." :^) LOOKA - The imperative case of the verb "to look". Usually accompanied by a pointing gesture. Often used as a single exclamation: "Looka!" LOOKIT DA T.V. - To watch T.V. Locals don't watch T.V., they look at it. Oh, and in proper Localese form, it's pronounced <TEE-vee>, emphasis on the first syllable. MAKE GROCERIES, MAKIN' GROCERIES - To do grocery shopping. Thought to have originated with the French expression for grocery shopping, "faire le marché". The verb "faire" can mean either "to do" or "to make", and the idiom may have been mistranslated. MARDI GRAS - This grand pre-Lenten celebration for which New Orleans is famous is pronounced <MAW-dee GRAW>. MARRAINE - Pronounced <MAH-ran>. Your godmother. Elsewhere the terms "nanny" and "nanan" (pronounced NAH-nan) are also used for godmother. MAW-MAW - Ya grandma. MIRLITON - A vegetable pear or chayote squash, which grows wild in Louisiana and in backyards throughout New Orleans. Pronounced <MEL-lee-tawn>, and wonderful when stuffed with shrimp and ham dressing ... have a look at the recipe. MUFFULETTA - A quintessential New Orleans Italian sancwich, of ham, Genoa salami, mortadella, Provolone cheese and marinated olive salad on a round seeded Italian loaf. Invented at Central Grocery on Decatur in da Quarter. Locals pronounce this <muff-@-LOT-@>, and will tend to just abbreviate it as "muff". But if you ask a member of the Tusa family (the proprietors of Central), they'll pronounce it in elegantly proper Italian as <moo-foo-LET-ta>. MYNEZ - Mayonnaise. NEUTRAL GROUND - The grassy or cement strip in the middle of the road. The terms "median" and/or "island" are NEVER used in New Orleans. Use of one of those foreign terms instead of "neutral ground" is a dead giveaway that you ain't from around here, or anywhere close. If you're lucky, you live on a street with a neutral ground big enough to play football on. NEW ORLEENS - The way silly tourists pronounce "New Orleans". Natives do not do this. Exception -- song lyrics, as in "Do You Know What It Means to Miss New Orleans", for example, and when omitting the "New", as in "Orleans Parish", which is always pronounced <or-LEENS>. Confusing, isn't it? More on this below. NUTTINONIT - A po-boy that is not dressed, which only contains the main ingredient(s). ON DA WES' BANK, ACROSS DA RIVUH, OVA DA RIVUH - On the West Bank of the Mississippi River, where such places as Algiers, Gretna and Marrero lie. Interestingly, the West Bank is due south of New Orleans (except for Algiers, of course). Make sense? Thought not. OR WHAT - Pronounced <r WUT>, and placed at the end of a question: "You gonna finish eatin' dat, 'r what?" OVA BY - A general replacement for the prepositions "at" and "to", particularly when referring to someone's home, or a destination in general. "Where ya goin'?" "Ova by ma mamma's." PARISH - A Louisiana state administrative district, analogous to the American "county". When used by locals in the phrase "da parish", it generally means St. Bernard Parish specifically, which is suburban to New Orleans. PARRAINE - Pronounced <PAH-ran>. Your godfather. PASS BY - To stop at a place, for a visit or to accomplish something. "Ya gonna be home later? I'll pass by ya house." It doesn't mean just to drive by in your car and keep going ... PASSION MARK - The little red mark you get on your neck (or elsewhere) after a passionate session of necking. Called a "hickey" or a "love bite" everywhere else, apparently. Pronounced <PASH'n mawk>, of course. PECAN - A nut indigenous to the South, and beloved in New Orleans as an ingredient in pies and pralines. Pronounced <p@-KAWN>, not <PEE-can>. PO-BOY - The quintessential New Orleans lunch, a sandwich on good, crispy New Orleans French bread. This definition doesn't begin to describe what a po-boy is all about, so if you really don't know you need to get one soon. Take a moment to read a little bit about po-boys. PODNA - A form of address for men, usually for ones with whom one is not acquainted. Frequently used in the emphatic statement, "I tell you what, podna ." PRALINE - A sugary Creole candy, invented in New Orleans (not the same as the French culinary/confectionery term "praline" or "praliné") The classic version is made with sugar, brown sugar, butter, vanilla and pecans, and is a flat sugary pecan-filled disk. Yummmmm. There are also creamy pralines, chocolate pralines, maple pralines, etc. Pecan pralines are the classic, though. This is one of THE most mispronounced New Orleans terms of all. It is ***N O T*** pronounced <PRAY-leen>. It is pronounced <PRAH-leen>. Got it? Good. REGULAH COFFEE - Not "Black Coffee" as in the rest of the country. "Regular" includes lots of sugar and cream. To drink black coffee in New Orleans will cause people to look at you as though you are from another planet. As a Café du Monde waiter was quoted in a Bunny Matthews "F'Sure!" comic strip, admonishing a tourist who had ordered black coffee, "Lissen cap ... I gotta tell ya, nobody drinks dis kinda cawfee black. So I ain't responsible if ya have a hawt attack 'r sump'in ..." SCHWEGMANN'S BAG - A unit of measurement. Approximately 3 cubic feet. Derived from local icon Schwegmann Brothers Giant Supermarkets, who until recently had absolutely enormous paper bags in which they packed ya groceries. (Now they have those stupid tiny flimsy plastic bags just like everyone else.) Usage: "Hey, did ya catch a lot at da parade?" "Yeah you rite ... a whole Schwegmann bag full!" The apostrophe-s is optional. SHOOT-DA-CHUTE - A playground slide. SHOW, DA SHOW - The cinema. The movie house. The local motion picture emporium. Where works of cinematic art (or crappy flicks, depending) are shown. True New Orleanians never say, "I went to the movies", they say "I went to da show." SILVER DIME - A small coin of U.S. currency, worth ten cents. Always pronounced with the emphasis on the first syllable, <SIL-vah dime>, even though they haven't been made of actual silver for over 35 years. SKEETA HAWK - Or, "mosquito hawk", the local name for a dragonfly. I'm not sure if this is particular to New Orleans only, but since moving away I have never heard anyone else use the term. SOSSIDGE - A meat preparation, made of various kinds of ground meats, seafood and spices, stuffed into a casing. Usually spelled "sausage" by English speakers, but pronounced in New Orleans as you see here, always <SAH-sage> and not <SAW-sage>. STOOP - Usually expressed as "da stoop". The front steps to your house, particularly if it's a shotgun duplex. What ya go out and sit on to chat wit'ya neighbas (an' ta keep an eye on 'em). An example, (partially taken from a Bunny Matthews' "F'Sure!") strip: SUCK DA HEAD, SQUEEZE DA TIP - The technique for eating crawfish. If you've never done this, have someone demonstrate. SUG - A term of endearment used primarily by Yat females. Pronoucned <SHOOG> with a soft "oo" as in "book". SWEATS - A sub-species of New Orleanian; early teens to late 40s, even, with unkempt appearance, dirty hair, heavy metal or biker t-shirts, droopy-eyed, low-intelligence, usually stoned, occasionally hostile. Preferred term of address, "Say, bra ..." Other terms for sweats, depending on your generation and neighborhood, are "loads" or "say-bras". In my day they were known to be fond of Cheech 'n Chong (which they pronounce CHEEK an' Chong) movies at the Chalmette, Lake Forest Plaza and Village Aurora Cinemas. Prone to ask brilliant questions like, "Say bra ... what time da midnight movie starts?" (This question was once actually asked of me, back when it was my lot in life to have been an usher at the Village Aurora Cinema in Algiers. You can't make stuff like this up. And a new one was contributed by Gumbo Pages reader Larry Beron: "A friend of mine went to the Rally's at Vets and Bonnabel in Metairie and overheard the driver of the car ahead of him ask the drive-up clerk, 'Say bra . how many meats y'all put on them double-cheeseburgers?'") "THROW ME SOMETHIN, MISTA!" - The traditional (nay, required) request of a Mardi Gras paradegoer to a Mardi Gras parade rider, so that the rider will shower said paradegoer with cheap trinkets like beads, doubloons or cups (actually, the cups are highly coveted, more so than the doubloons are these days, apparently). TURLET - Ya standard flushable porcelain waste disposal unit found in every bat'troom, referred to by English speakers as a "toilet". Also good for gettin' rid of nasty food ya snuck away from da table as a child (like ma mamma's roast beef ... yuck. That lady makes heavenly crawfish étouffée, but she just murders roast beef ...) UPTOWN SIDE, DOWNTOWN SIDE, LAKESIDE, RIVERSIDE - The four cardinal points of the New Orleanian compass. "North, south, east, west" do not work in New Orleans. VALISE - Suitcase. VEDGEATIBBLE - Neither animal nor mineral. What ya mamma used to make ya eat before ya could leave the table when ya were a kid. The word has four syllables. VIOLATION - A person from Violet, Louisiana, in St. Bernard Parish. I've never heard this one before, but it's hilarious. Contributed by Karen Schneider of the Southern Yat Club. WHERE YA STAY (AT)? - Where do you live? WHERE Y'AT! - The traditional New Orleanian greeting, and the source for the term "Yat", often used (primarily by non-New Orleanians, it is said) to describe New Orleanians with the telltale accent. The proper response is, "Awrite." UMBRELLA - A standard English word, but with a special pronunciation. We say <UM-brel-l@>, not <um-BREL-l@>. UP DA ROAD - Same as down da road, only now you are traveling in the opposite direction heading "up da road" to either Chalmette or Arabi. WRENCH - To clean something under running water. "Aw baby, ya hands 'r filthy! Go wrench 'em off in da zink." See ZINK. Y'ALL - The plural form of the second person verb, "you all". It's not pronounced as they would in the south, though -- no twang, no drawl, just "y'all". "You guys" is never said and is a dead giveaway that you're a Tulane student from New Jersey. YA - You, your. YA MAMMA - Your mother. Used in a variety of ways, usually endearing. Also usable as an insult, specifically as a simple retort when one is insulted first; simply say, "Ya mamma." Be prepared to defend yourself physically at this point. I once saw my classmate Vince G. beat the crap out of someone (and someone a year older, at that) back in high school at Holy Cross for uttering this retort. YAMAMMA'N'EM - A collective term for your immediate family, as in "Hey dawlin', how's yamamma'n'em?" Spoken as one word. YEAH YOU RITE - An emphatic statement of agreement and affirmation, sometimes used as a general exclamation of happiness. The accent is on the first word, and it's spoken as one word. YEUHRM? - Do/Did you hear me? (Heard often at Schwegmann's.) ZATARAIN'S - Pronounced <ZAT-@-rans>. A local manufacturer of spices, seasonings, pickled products and condiments. In context, it's used by some as a generic term for either crab boil or Creole mustard, as it "Put some Zatarain's on it," or "T'row a coupla bags o' Zatarain's in da pot." Context is important here; you don't want to put Creole mustard in a seafood boil. ZINK - A receptacle for water with a drain and faucets. Where ya wrench off ya dishes or ya hands. See WRENCH.
A guide to the pronunciation of local place namesSome tourists come to New Orleans and, thinking that they know some French, will puff out their chests and pronounce local place names in a way that they think will help them fit in and endear themselves to the natives ... only to have the natives look upon them with pity and say, "Where ya from, dawlin'?"For instance, some people will note with delight that we have streets named after the Nine Muses of classical Greek mythology, but would probably have a seizure if they heard how we pronounced them ("Calliope" still kills me .). And da French names often ain't what dey seem. Here's a list of the ways the natives pronouce some of our our unique place names -- streets, cities and local features. Some of you may find them baffling, but don't think to ask why. We probably don't know anyway. Special note: If you're a student DJ at WTUL and you're not a native of New Orleans ... READ THIS AND LEARN IT! Next time I hear one of y'all butcher our street names on our local airwaves, I'll pull your ribs out. Okay, so ... if you really want to fit in, learn to pronounce things like this:
ALGIERS POINT - You're likely to hear this pronounced as <Algiers Pernt> AUDUBON PARK - Avoid the French pronunciation (which is a good general rule for most New Orleanian place names) of <au-dû-boN> with the nasal "N". The local will pronounce this <AW-d@-b@n PAWK>. THE BIG EASY - Avoid uttering this phrase at all costs. Under almost no circumstances would a native ever refer to the City in this way. One major (and baffling) exception: the local music and entertainment awards are called The Big Easy Awards. BONNABEL - A major street (and high school) in Metairie. The proper pronunciation is apparently Bon-@-BELL, not BON-@-ble ... although most natives will pronounce it the latter way. I'm told it's a mispronunciation, to wit:
Hi, I have a pronunciation for you to add to the lexicon. I'm sure that my great-grandfather, Alfred Bonnabel, will appreciate this.
So saith the authority.
Bonnabel is pronounced Bon-@-BELL, NOT Bon-@-buhl. It is always mutilated on a regular basis and it drives us nuts! At one point, they had even mispelled one of the exit signs on I-10 to read "Bonnable Blvd." An easy ay to rember is by thinking of my mother's name. It is Bonnie Belle. Cute, no? Thanks, Teri Lippincott, daughter of Bonnie Belle Lacey Lippincott BURGUNDY STREET - Pronounced <bur-GUN-dee>. Don't pronounce it like the wine. BURTHE STREET - in Uptown New Orleans. Pronounced <BYOOTH> ... sounds like "youth" with a B in front of it. Why? Beats the hell outta me. I'm told the street is named after a person, but I don't know the details. I'm also told it's a French name, but it surely wouldn't be pronounced like that in proper French (as if any New Orleans street name is). The local postmen know this pronunciation; apparently mail addressed to "Buth" or "Buthe" Street gets delivered just fine. CADIZ STREET - Pronounced <KAY-diz>. In New Orleans, Spanish place names are butchered even woise den da French ones ... CALLIOPE STREET - Pronounced, believe it or not, <CAL-lee-ope>, and not <k@-LIE-@-pee>. No doubt this particular Greek Muse is barfing up her lunch over on Olympus ... However, the steam organ on the riverboat Natchez that plays music is, in fact, the <k@-LIE-@-pee>. Go figure. CANAL - Usage is always "da canal". The Industrial Canal, one of New Orleans' main waterways, along with "da lake" and "da river". I suppose some Metry-ites may use this term to refer to the 17th Street Canal. Also, Canal Street is the main thoroughfare of the Central Business District, and borders the French Quarter on the Uptown side. CARONDELET STREET - Pronounced <k@-'ron-d@-LET>, not <k@-'ron-d@-LAY>. CHARTRES STREET - Pronounced <CHAW-t@s> or <CHAW-tuhs>. CHEF MENTEUR HIGHWAY - Pronounced <SHEF m@n-TOUR>. Most people just say "da Chef". And although it's U.S. 90, it's not really much of a highway anymore . "Da Chef" is actually pretty depressing these days. When I-10 was completed through New Orleans in the 60s, da Chef ceased to become a main thoroughfare for travelers, and gradually died. (And if da Chef is dead now, one can only imagine how scary Old Gentilly Road must be by now ...) Five miles outside of eastern New Orleans on da Chef is the site of the infamous Jayne Mansfield decapitation. CLIO STREET - Pronounced <CLI-oh>. Also sometimes, by some folks in da neighbahood, as "CEE-ELL-TEN" ... I kid you not. CONTI STREET - Pronounced <CON-tye>. DA QUARTER - The French Quarter, pronounced <da QUAW-tah>. DAUPHINE STREET - Pronounced <daw-FEEN>. Oddly enough, it's not unlike the actual French. DECATUR SCREET - Pronounced <d@-KAY-ter>, not <'deck-@-TURE>. French people have problems with this one. DERBIGNY STREET - Pronounced <DER-b@-nee> or <DOY-b@-nee< if you're a really hardcore Nint' Wawduh. DORGENOIS STREET - Pronounced <DER-zhen-wah'>, secondary accent on third syllable. DRYADES STREET - Pronounced <DRY-@ds>. DUFOSSAT STREET - Pronounced <DOO-faucet>. A contributor writes, "When I was a kid I always interpreted it as having to do with faucets." EUTERPE STREET - Pronounced <YOU-terp>. FONTAINEBLEAU - Pronounced as if spelled "fountain blue". IBERVILLE STREET - Pronounced <IB-ber-'vil>, not <EYE-ber-'vil>. LOYOLA - The hardcore local pronunciation of this is <lye-OH-l@>. MARIGNY STREET, FAUBOURG MARIGNY - Pronounced <MA-r@-nee>, with the "a" sounding like the "a" in "hat". MAZANT STREET - Pronounced <MAY-zant>. Runs through the heart of Bywater in da Lowuh Nint' Ward. It's my family's old neighborhood; my grandparents ran a little neighborhood grocery store called Niedermeier's, which was on the corner of Mazant and Royal ... MAY-zant 'n RERL! MELPOMENE STREET - Pronounced <MEL-p@-meen>. METAIRIE - Standard New Orleanian pronunciation: <MET-@-ree>. MILAN STREET - Pronounced <MY-lan> NEW ORLEANS - This is a sticky subject. As Tim Lyman mentioned above, there are oodles of ways that the locals pronounce the name of their beloved City. Natives also seem to have an instinctive grasp of what a proper pronunciation is, and can spot it in native speakers outside the City. First off, <new or-LEENS> is generally a no-no. It's like putting a big, red neon sign on your head that says, "I'm not from around here." As also mentioned above, the two main exceptions are when it's pronounced like that in song lyrics (easier to rhyme, but contributes to the confusion of non-natives) and when "Orleans" stands alone without the "New", as in Orleans Parish. So of course, there are some exceptions to this rule. I have on occasion heard some African-American native New Orleanians use the above pronunciation. I didn't say this was going to be consistent or that it wasn't going to be confusing, did I? Here are the major standard local pronunciations of the City's name: <new OR-l@ns>, <new AW-l@ns>, <new OR-lee-'@ns> <new AH-lee-@ns>, <nyoo AH-lee-'@ns>. The fabled "N'Awlins", pronounced <NAW-l@ns>, is used by some natives for amusement, and by some non-natives who think they're being hip, but actually I've come across very few locals who actually pronounce the name of the City in this way. Ben Fortson, an Uptown boy, adds, "There are also versions without the final -s, as in Fats Domino's "walkin' to Noo Awlin". The s-lessness is presumably from the French. Also, "Noo Awyuns", with a -y- instead of an -l-, is pretty common in my experience, and kind of interesting from a linguistic point of view. By the way, the shorter versions like Nawlins and Nawlns that you say aren't used much by locals have in fact been used at least by me all my life, for what that's worth. Maybe Uptown is diff'rint." (Yeah, it is, bra . it's where dey got all dem shoits wid da lil' gators on 'em, and everyone has 59 rows o' teeth!) PLAQUEMINES PARISH - Pronounced <PLACK-@-m@ns>. PONTCHARTRAIN - Pronounced <PONCH-a-train> locally. Or you can just say, "Da Lake". POYDRAS STREET - Pronounced <PER-dr@s> by truly hardcore locals, <POY-dr@s> by everyone else. PRYTANIA STREET - Pronounced <pr@-TAN-y@>. THE RIGOLETS - Pronounced <da RIG-@-lees>. ROYAL STREET - Pronounced <RERL>, to rhyme with "pearl". A strong localese pronunciation. SOCRATES STREET - In Algiers, across da river. Pronounced <SO crates>, like the word "so" and the word "crates". I kid you not. TCHOUPITOULAS STREET - Pronounced <'chop-@-TOO-l@s>. It's easier to pronounce than to spell. Spelling "Tchoupitoulas" is the true test of a native; if New Orleans was a country at war, you'd ask a guy to spell this to make sure he was on your side, just like in all the old WWII movies. TERPSICHORE STREET - Pronounced <TERP-s@-core>. THIBODEAUX - Pronounced <TIB-@-doe>. TONTI STREET - Pronounced <TON-tee>, with the "o" sound as in "box". TOULOUSE STREET - Pronounced <TOO-loose>. TUJAGUE'S - A venerable French Quarter restaurant, highly recommended. However, some tourists have expressed reticence to go to a restaurant whose name they can't pronounce. All such folks will do well to pronounce it <TOO-jacks>. TULANE - Pronounced <TOO-lane>. Never, ever pronounce this <tu-LANE>, or you'll immediately be mistaken for a college student from New Jersey. Also, you're liable to have someone get in your face about it, like my brother-in-law Jeff Willmon does when he hears this ... "No. If you're gonna come to my city, and go to my school, you're gonna pronounce it my way."
You tell 'em, bra.
UGLESICH'S - The best restaurant in the city? Some might say so. Certainly a must for any fan of New Orleans cooking. Anthony and Gail Uglesich operate this tiny, atmosphere-free (but rich in local color) restaurant that's only open weekdays until 4 (you don't wanna be on that part of Baronne Street after dark, no). Pronounced <YOU-gla-sitch-is>, although I've heard some natives just call it "Ugly's". VETERANS HIGHWAY - Hardcore locals pronounce this with only two syllables ... <VET-tr@ns>. VIEUX CARRÉ - Pronounced <VYOO ka-RAY>. Literally means "old square", and it means Da French Quarter, the site of Bienville's original New Orleans settlement. TRUE or FALSE!Can you guess which of the following are true and which are false?
1. Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning.
2. Alfred Hitchcock didn't have a belly button. 3. A pack-a-day smoker will lose approximately 2 teeth every 10 years. 4. People do not get sick from cold weather; it's from being indoors a lot more. 5. When you sneeze, all bodily functions stop, even your heart! 6. Only 7 per cent of the population are lefties. 7. Forty people are sent to the hospital for dog bites every minute. 8. Babies are born without kneecaps. They don't appear until they are 2-6 years old. 9. The average person over 50 will have spent 5 years waiting in lines. 10. The toothbrush was invented in 1498. 11. The average housefly lives for one month. 12. 40,000 Americans are injured by toilets each year. 13. A coat hanger is 44 inches long when straightened. 14. The average computer user blinks 7 times a minute. 15. Your feet are bigger in the afternoon than any other time of day. 16. Most of us have eaten a spider in our sleep. 17. The REAL reason ostriches stick their head in the sand is to search for water. 18. The only two animals that can see behind themselves without turning their heads are the rabbit and the parrot. 19. John Travolta turned down the starring roles in "An Officer and a Gentleman" and "Tootsie." 20. Michael Jackson owns the rights to the South Carolina State anthem. 21. In most television commercials advertising milk, a mixture of white paint and a little thinner is used in place of the milk. 22. Prince Charles and Prince William NEVER travel on the same airplane, just in case there is a crash. 23. The first Harley Davidson motorcycle built in 1903 used a tomato can for a carburator. 24. Most hospitals make money by selling the umbilical cords cut from women who give birth. They are used in vein transplant surgery. 25. Humphrey Bogart was related to Princess Diana. They were 7th cousins. 26. If coloring weren't added to Coca-Cola, it would be green. ALL OF THE ABOVE ARE TRUE! (Now go back and think about No. 16!) |
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